The 2nd Most Offensive Thing Anyone Has Ever Said To Me
The most offensive thing anyone has said to me was when I was wearing a brand new dress (that happens to have an empire waist), and a homeless man turned to me in a deli and says, “When are you due?”
But that’s not what this post is about.
The second most offensive thing that anyone has ever said to me was not said by one person, but by many, over and over and over again. It goes like this:
Me: Hi! (with recognition)
Other person: (blank stare)
Me: (faltering) Oh, we know each other from (insert time/place)
Other person: That’s odd, I don’t remember you.
Me: Oh well, no worries. Nice to meet you. (politely, smoothing over the awkwardness)
Other person: Well it’s just weird, because I remember everyone, always.
It’s that last line that really gets to me. It’s like, OK, you don’t remember me, fine. That’s a tiny bit awkward, but no biggie. It’s happened to me a few times too, that I don’t remember someone, and they remember me. But to actually SAY that not only do you not remember me, that you always remember people, implies that I am just the MOST generic, unmemorable person EVER. And that, my friends, is why I find this the most offensive statement anyone can ever say to me. Also, what do people expect I say in response? “Oh, you’re right, I DON’T know you?” Obviously, if I can name the precise way we know each other, it’s true. The above unfortunate event happened not once, but twice in the past weekend:
AWFUL MOMENT #1: At a bar, I see a professor I had senior year of college for an ancient philosophy class. He’s super young, super hot, and a super-genius. I go over, and say, “I’m sure you don’t remember me, but I took a class of yours…” and I continue with various pleasantries, while smiling and being generally nice and flirty-esque (though, I hope, not creepy). DO YOU KNOW what he replies? “Oh, uh, I remember all my students, and I don’t remember you. Sorry.” THANKS, man. Real nice.
AWFUL MOMENT #2: My toilet is broken. Thus I go into the café on my block, Chez Betty. Betty is working, and I say “Bonjour!” as I always do, every one of the approximately 15 times I have been in there. I always speak to her in French. I explain that my toilet is broken and politely request to use hers. She says, “No. Customers only.” So I’m sort of annoyed, but agree to buy a couple of cookies (which by the way the cats later got into and ate, spilling crumbs ALL over my apartment). This conversation ensues:
Her: Do you live around here?
Me: Yes, right there.
Her: Ah, you’ve never been in before.
Me: Um, no, actually I have been in many, many times.
Her: Hmm, well, I always remember every single customer.
Since this happens literally the day after the hot professor said the same thing to me, I storm out, huffily refusing to even wait long enough to grab my change, which I promptly regret.
These are just the times it’s happened to me within the last 72 hours. I swear it’s happened about 3784297897897892347 times prior to this weekend, and it’s usually people who know me personally, unlike these two examples which are more of, like, I’m a face in a crowd. I guess I need to wear feathers sticking out of my ears, or become a Cyclops or something.
Grumble.
But that’s not what this post is about.
The second most offensive thing that anyone has ever said to me was not said by one person, but by many, over and over and over again. It goes like this:
Me: Hi! (with recognition)
Other person: (blank stare)
Me: (faltering) Oh, we know each other from (insert time/place)
Other person: That’s odd, I don’t remember you.
Me: Oh well, no worries. Nice to meet you. (politely, smoothing over the awkwardness)
Other person: Well it’s just weird, because I remember everyone, always.
It’s that last line that really gets to me. It’s like, OK, you don’t remember me, fine. That’s a tiny bit awkward, but no biggie. It’s happened to me a few times too, that I don’t remember someone, and they remember me. But to actually SAY that not only do you not remember me, that you always remember people, implies that I am just the MOST generic, unmemorable person EVER. And that, my friends, is why I find this the most offensive statement anyone can ever say to me. Also, what do people expect I say in response? “Oh, you’re right, I DON’T know you?” Obviously, if I can name the precise way we know each other, it’s true. The above unfortunate event happened not once, but twice in the past weekend:
AWFUL MOMENT #1: At a bar, I see a professor I had senior year of college for an ancient philosophy class. He’s super young, super hot, and a super-genius. I go over, and say, “I’m sure you don’t remember me, but I took a class of yours…” and I continue with various pleasantries, while smiling and being generally nice and flirty-esque (though, I hope, not creepy). DO YOU KNOW what he replies? “Oh, uh, I remember all my students, and I don’t remember you. Sorry.” THANKS, man. Real nice.
AWFUL MOMENT #2: My toilet is broken. Thus I go into the café on my block, Chez Betty. Betty is working, and I say “Bonjour!” as I always do, every one of the approximately 15 times I have been in there. I always speak to her in French. I explain that my toilet is broken and politely request to use hers. She says, “No. Customers only.” So I’m sort of annoyed, but agree to buy a couple of cookies (which by the way the cats later got into and ate, spilling crumbs ALL over my apartment). This conversation ensues:
Her: Do you live around here?
Me: Yes, right there.
Her: Ah, you’ve never been in before.
Me: Um, no, actually I have been in many, many times.
Her: Hmm, well, I always remember every single customer.
Since this happens literally the day after the hot professor said the same thing to me, I storm out, huffily refusing to even wait long enough to grab my change, which I promptly regret.
These are just the times it’s happened to me within the last 72 hours. I swear it’s happened about 3784297897897892347 times prior to this weekend, and it’s usually people who know me personally, unlike these two examples which are more of, like, I’m a face in a crowd. I guess I need to wear feathers sticking out of my ears, or become a Cyclops or something.
Grumble.
posted by Charlotte at
5:17 PM
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1 Comments
