Tooths

This morning I went to the dentist. Blech, you say! But no. I had the most delightful experience ever of ever, and it went like this:

I walk in at 7:59 for an 8am appointment. I am greeted, “Hi Charlotte!!!!” as opposed to the usual sullen stare and long line. I’m offered coffee (and asked how I like it) and it is scrumtrilescent.* I am then offered a seat in the waiting room, where they have Us Weekly for me to read!! Fantastic. I’m disappointed that I only have a minute’s perusal before I’m called in. They commence X-rays, using this awesome (in the traditional, not vernacular sense) machine that takes the X-Ray then immediately puts the image onto a computer screen that is dangling above the chair. Usually, I gag up a storm during X-Rays. This time, I was told in a soothing (though not irritating or condescending) voice, “It’s okay. Breathe through your nose. Want to take a break? You okay? There we go!”

Once X-rays are done and real work commences, the computer screen morphs into a TV, and I can watch anything I want during the cleaning. I chose Saved By the Bell, and got to chuckle at Slater’s playboy tendencies and Zach’s sly maneuvering while getting the plaque taken off my teeth by a brand new, almost pleasant super strong water spray.

Then the doctor comes in, and he is pleasant, attractive, brief, and has his leg in a gigantic cast, which inspired sympathy and compassion in me. He takes a look around in my mouth and promptly declares it, “immaculate.”

I then am permitted to leave, with NO PAPERWORK having been done at all. I just give them my social, and THEY look up all my dental insurance info!

I was, however, chastised for my flossing negligence.

*If you haven't ever seen the SNL Best of Will Farrell DVD, or otherwise seen this skit, find a way to view it immediately. It's Will F. imitating the guy from Masterpiece Theater.