Funny things me and my friends have said recently:

Sarah M. : Maybe he's just moody.
Me: No, he's not moody. He's been happy every time I've seen him.
Sarah M.: THAT'S BECAUSE HE'S CRAZY!
(stunned silence)
Me: Thanks, dark cloud of gloom! It's sunny over here! Stay over there!

Melissa, looking at an oblong object: I wonder how much area this has. I mean, perimeter. I mean, like, what it can hold. I mean, like, its squarometer.

Me: Hey, this Nick Lay-hee character is actually a little hot.
Athena: Who?
Me: You know, Jessica Simpson's ex or whatever.
Athena: Hahahaha. Um, it's Nick Lashay.
(How was I to know? Lachey?!)

(PS: The image above is one of the ones that comes up if you google-image the word "laughing." Ha!)